The Professor - Nissim Ezekiel

Poem:

1. Remember me? I am Professor Sheth.
2. Once I taught you geography. Now
3. I am retired, though my health is good. My wife died some years back.
4. By God's grace, all my children
5. Are well settled in life.
6. One is Sales Manager,
7. One is Bank Manager,
8. Both have cars.
9. Other also doing well, though not so well.
10. Every family must have black sheep.
11. Sarala and Tarala are married,
12. Their husbands are very nice boys.
13. You won't believe but I have eleven grandchildren.
14. How many issues you have? Three?
15. That is good. These are days of family planning.
16. I am not against. We have to change with times.
17. Whole world is changing. In India also
18. We are keeping up. Our progress is progressing.
19. Old values are going, new values are coming.
20. Everything is happening with leaps and bounds.
21. I am going out rarely, now and then
22. Only, this is price of old age
23. But my health is O.K. Usual aches and pains.
24. No diabetes, no blood pressure, no heart attack.
25. This is because of sound habits in youth.
26. How is your health keeping?
27. Nicely? I am happy for that.
28. This year I am sixty-nine
29. and hope to score a century.
30. You were so thin, like stick,
31. Now you are man of weight and consequence.
32. That is good joke.
33. If you are coming again this side by chance,
34. Visit please my humble residence also.
35. I am living just on opposite house's backside.

Not a conversation but a rambling monologue
Poet mocking "Indian English" by using it - satire
Irony is that a professor speaks it
As given by Prof. Felix, NOTE:
The Professor by Nissim Ezekiel is a satirical poem in the form of a monologue. The poet uses (in order to mock) Indianisms in English and adapts English language t adopt native language structure. A Professor, as the one who teaches, should be in proper command of the medium he uses; therefore the poem is ironical.

Now the explanation:
Remember me? I am Professor Sheth.
Shouldn't the student be approaching the teacher, saying "Good evening, sir, I'm so-and-so from your geography class, batch of '79.."
Once I taught you geography. Now
The horror begins here. "Once I taught you geography"??? This man has obviously never met a Grammar Nazi.
I am retired, though my health is good. My wife died some years back.
It's like he's assuming that the student assumes that he has retired because of poor health. A common Indian misconception.
By God's grace, all my children
Are well settled in life.
One is Sales Manager,
One is Bank Manager,

Both have cars.
Epitome of success: possession of a car. Only in India.
Other also doing well, though not so well.
Air hostess voice: Would you like a preposition, sir? An article? No?
<eye twitches>
Every family must have black sheep.
That's a little harsh - there are non-monetary aspects of success.
Sarala and Tarala are married,
Another common Indianism - rhyming names.
Their husbands are very nice boys.
And of course it's the husbands that matter more.
You won't believe but I have eleven grandchildren.
I have a wealth of progeny and am showing it off.
How many issues you have? Three?
Issues here means children. As used in old English books.
That is good. These are days of family planning.
Stopped at three - family planning. No wealth of children there. Professor feels validated at being wealthier than his student.
I am not against. We have to change with the times.
Whole world is changing. In India also
We are keeping up. Our progress is progressing

Old values are going, new values are coming.
Going where? Ok, fine, what he means to say is that the times are changing and so are the value systems.
Everything is happening with leaps and bounds.
Can I please ridicule him now? He's talking like a child - trying to use all these fancy terms he's picked up from the streets but he doesn't know how to, so it sounds like this ^
I am going out rarely, now and then
Only, this is price of old age
"now and then Only" he said. Direct transfer of Indian grammar to English.
And then he says "price of old age".
But my health is O.K. Usual aches and pains

No diabetes, no blood pressure, no heart attack.
This is because of sound habits in youth.
The poor student doesn't care! Why are you telling him about your "sound habits"?
How is your health keeping?
Nicely? I am happy for that.
Stop. Please. Go wash your brain with detergent and then come back with a less polluted understanding of the English language.

This year I am sixty-nine
and hope to score a century.
Cricket reference; only in India. Life is a cricket match, it seems.
You were so thin, like stick,
Now you are a man of weight and consequence.
Indian twisted pride in being fat - it is a man's honor. Whatever.
That is a good joke.
Crack a joke and murder it by saying things like "I'm so funny"
If you are coming again this side by chance,
Visit my humble residence also.
"humble residence"? You could just say home, you know. At least the listener will be less creeped out.

I am living just on opposite house's backside.
At this point the reader must keep the book down and burst into tears as her faith in humanity dies.
And the listener must walk away slowly and not laugh.

Now, the observations:
Getting serious, now - this poem, although hilarious and ironic, is also depressing. The issue of quality of education is subtly raised here - what a sad system it is, where a teacher - a professor - can't speak grammatically correct English, and sadder yet, because young impressionable minds are subjected to his ineptitude at his own medium of instruction.

Upon further contemplation and discussion, a few more points come to attention:

satirizing Indian priorities in life
listener cannot walk away because the speaker was his professor and therefore must be respected or at least humored
jocular representation of a serious problem

Poem in Detail:
(Lines1-11) The poem, The Professor begins with a question, ‘Remember me?’. The question is from a retired Geography professor to one of his former student. He then introduces himself as Professor Sheth who had once taught Geography to that student. Then he describes his current position, his family and his health. He tells him that his wife has passed away few years back and by God’s will, all his children ‘are well settled in life.’ He also mentions that one of his sons is a Bank Manager and another is a Sales Manager. To describe their social and financial condition, the retired professor says they both own cars. Then he mentions about his third son whom he considers as the black sheep of the family.
(Lines 12-21) The professor then talks about his daughters, Sarala and Tarala. He says that they both are married and leading a happy life. His son-in-laws ‘are very nice boys.’ The professor then proudly tells his student that he has eleven grandchildren. He even asks his student how many issues he has. The student probably says three when the professor says people are going in for family planning these days which is good.
The professor keeps on talking. He talks about the changing times and the importance of change. He talks about how the whole world is changing along with India. He then talks about the change in values. Old values are been replaced by new values.
(Lines 22-35) The professor now talks a bit about himself. He says that he hardly go out because of his old age. Then he says his ‘health is O.K’ but he does have usual aches and pains. He is not suffering from diabetes, blood pressure or heart disease. He says proudly that he is healthy because of the good habits that he has cultivated from his youth.
He even enquires about his student’s health and is happy when he comes to know that the student is in good health. The professor reveals his age, he says that he is sixty nine and hopes to live for a hundred years. He jokes with his student that the latter was like a stick earlier but now he has gained weight and become a ‘man of weight and consequence.’ Finally, the professor asks him to pay a visit to his home if he ever comes near to his dwelling place.

In his poem "The Professor," Nissim Ezekiel employs a certain satire in order to mock Indianism, urbanity, and academic achievement in the one-way conversation of an aging professor and his former student. In this poem, the professor brags about his family, yet there is a mockery of his achievement that has not taught the professor standard English or given him any sense of family security or place in this family. For, his wife has died and his children have moved away,
By God's grace, all my children
Are well settled in life.
One is Sales Manager,
One is Bank Manager,
Both have cars.

With irony, a tool of satire, the professor brags about his children having achieved monetary success and material possessions, yet his loneliness is apparent as in non-traditional, modern fashion his children do not have him live with any of them.

In an effort to seem urbane and modern, the old professor mimics the "conventional wisdom" of the new thinking,
How many issues you have? Three?
That is good. These are days of family planning.
I am not against. We have to change with times.
Whole world is changing. In India also
We are keeping up. Our progress is progressing.

Yet, at the same time the professor mocks himself because he is truly not keeping up in sentiment with the "times" or changing as indicated by his awkward speech and circuitous phrases, as well as his admission that he rarely goes out. Ironically, he comes to the former student to brag, but instead he reveals himself as a man whom progressive thinking has left behind as he lives "just on opposite house's backside."